


Colour My World

by NiamsPotato



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cheating, M/M, Niall is his sweet self, OOC Liam, OOC Louis too I guess, POV First Person, sorry - Freeform, why does Louis always ends up getting hurt?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-08 07:38:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7748995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiamsPotato/pseuds/NiamsPotato
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam is Louis' boyfriend, but he is more in love with Niall. Liam doesn't do well by being single, though, so he keeps Louis as his boyfriend - but only in secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Italics = present/Liam's thoughts. Sadly, this fic represent more on the past rather than the present..

_I feel kind of shitty when I'm by myself, and I think he knows it too. He does nothing to make me feel better either, and I guess I kind of deserve it. But when HE'S in the room, man, I feel like a million dollars. He makes me feel that way, and the way his sweet kisses gives me goosebumps. I crave those goosebumps. It was never goosebumps with Louis though, although his eyes kind of did it for me. Mainly because his eyes reminded me of Niall. Niall's eyes always were that little bit prettier in my opinion though. Not that I ever told Louis that or anything, but I think he noticed that I fancied Niall like crazy. Now I know for sure that he knows, because he gives me these looks. You know? Like harsh eyes that stare at me. Before, his eyes were all gooey when they looked at me - now he looks at me like he wants to murder me. I don't really blame him. I really don't._

 

_"Liam!!" Harry yells from downstairs, and I kind of flinch at his voice. Not that he sounds angry or anything, but he just startled me._

_"Coming..." I mutter to myself, wondering if Louis or Niall will be downstairs as well, or if Harry and Zayn are being their disgustingly cute self._

_Niall is the only reason I am staying in this house, believe me. Niall doesn't really know that Louis was my boyfriend for about six months, but I was almost giddy to release the news after Niall finally kissed me, and said he'd be delighted to be my boyfriend. Safe to say, that's when Louis and his glaring began._

_"LIAM!!" Harry yells again, and I can tell he's kind of pissed off. What for, I don't know._

_Harry and Zayn are sitting on the three seat sofa with their bodies intertwined, and Louis was there too, sitting on the two seat sofa. I decide to sit on the floor, not wanting to sit next to Louis._

_"We thought we should discuss Niall's birthday party!" Harry beams with a bright smile._

_"He doesn't want a party," I murmur._

_"Pish posh! Of course he wants a party!" Zayn disagrees, and I know why. Niall loves a good party. I'm the one who doesn't want this party to happen, mainly because I want to spend the time with Niall by my self. I don't want to share him with anybody. Louis is kind of a blabber-mouth when drunk, and I don't want Niall to know my secret..._

_"Niall is Irish," Louis scoffs. "He wants a party. Trust me."_

_"Okay, so ..."_

_"Hey guys!" A chirper voice makes my skin tingle, my ear prick up, and I can't fight the smile on my face. I've always had a big smile on my face whenever Niall was around, and as I accidentally make eye contact with Louis as he glares daggers at me, I give a small sigh._

_"Hey." My faltered smile at Louis is practically glowing again when my face is meeting his._

_"Nialler!" Harry squeals as he stumbles off the sofa and off Zayn, as he gives Niall a big hug. Harry is like that, always hugging us whenever we leave the house we share, or coming back. It doesn't matter - Harry is a snuggle bunny._

_"Let me down, you big oaf!" Niall squeals with laughter, and even Louis forgets to look like a he had sour lemons in his arse or something._

_"Put down Nialler, Hazzy, and snuggle with me instead..." Zayn murmurs, looking like a damn supermodel there he's sprayled across the sofa._

_"Coming, Zaynie!" Harry drops Niall in an instant, and Niall is having bright red cheeks from laughing. He's just adorable._

_Oh look at that. Louis is back looking back to his surly self._

 

xXxXxX

 

**_The past (LiLo)_ **

 

I look at Louis, and he beams at me, like I'm the sun or something. His kisses are demanding, kind of like his personality. I don't really mind. I like Louis. I like him alot, in fact. It's just, Niall is always kind of in the back of my mind. He's kind of told me his worst nightmare is being left behind - and with two couples, he'd definitely feel left out. As Louis is trying to get his tongue into my mouth, I put a stop to his advances.

"What's up?" Louis asked.

"Nothing..." I mutter.

"There's something bothering you, Liam, and I can't help you feel better if you won't tell me what it is."

He's right, but I don't think he'll like what I have to say. "It's really nothing, I just... I don't really want to tell anyone about us, you know?"

"You mean, you don't want to tell Niall that we're dating?" Louis is looking deadly right now.

"No! It's not just that!" I yell back at him. "Niall is kind of fragile ... and I just... He's my best mate!"

"He's my best mate too!!" Louis screeches. "I've known him longer than you, too!! He'll be happy for us! Just as he was happy when Harry and Zayn told him they weren't just fucking each other's brains out!"

"He still had you and me then!! But if we tell him we're dating, he won't feel like he has someone left ..."

"Why do you care more about Niall than you do me? I am your frigging boyfriend, or do you want to break up with me?!" His eyes are challanging me.

"No. I don't care more about Niall than I do about you, Louis. And no, I don't want to break up with you. I-I lo-love you." There, I finally said it.

Louis softened at the words, and beams at me. "I love you too." I gave in when I felt his tongue poke at my lips, and I felt disgusted with myself.

We pull apart with the light of speeding as Harry, Zayn and Niall comes back from their respective classes.

"Hey Li and Lou!" Harry beams, as he pull us both into a huge bear hug.

"Ugh.. Get off, Haz!" Louis growls, but I can tell he doesn't really mind.

"Ouch! You hurt my feelings, Lewis!" Harry beams, as he let go of Louis, and cuddles more into my side. "I love Liam more than you anyway. So soft to cuddle, he is." Harry chuckles.

"Go cuddle Zayn, Haz." I sigh. "I want to cuddle the Niallenator." I smile at him, and he smiles right back. Louis however, doesn't look too pleased.

"Well, who am I going to cuddle then?!" Louis mutters darkly. Sadly for me, Niall hears him.

"Ya can cuddle Li with me?" Niall says, as he shrugs. "I don't mind sharing Li with you, Lou."

"I do mind though..." Louis mutters.

"What was that, Lou?"

All three of them stare at Louis, and I know I look panicked.

"I said I didn't mind sharing Li either.." Louis sighs, as he tries to give Niall a smile. It looks kind of sad though.

"What's wrong, Louis?" Niall whispers. "Ya can cuddle me too, if ya want?"

Louis just shrugs, which makes Niall kind of sad.

"I'm sure Louis wants to cuddle with you, Nialler.." I murmur to his hair, as I softly breathe in his hair, and give it a few kisses. I couldn't stop myself.

"Umm.. are you two dating?!" Zayn asks, rather loudly.

"No? Why do you ask?" Niall asks, he looks confused. Louis looks even more pissed off than anything. And I feel so guilty.

"We're not dating!" I chuckle, as a stabbing feeling is shooting through my heart. How I wish I was dating Niall.

"Could've fooled me..." Zayn snigger as he plants kisses on Harry's face and neck.

Louis runs out of the room, and slams the door to his room.

"Wha-?" Niall looks up, and he looks like he's close to tears.

"Don't worry about it." I say, as I hold on to his arm, gently tugging on it.

"... but... Louis.." He looks so sad.

"He probably needs some time to himself." I find myself saying, as I smile at Niall.

"Are you sure, though? Louis never really liked spending time on his own, especially when he's having something on his mind." Niall looks close to tears now, and I cannot let them fall. It'll make me feel even worse.

"Positive, Nialler. Now, where's me cuddle, hmm?"

Niall beams at me. "Right here, Payno." He says, as he snuggle up to my side, his legs intertwined with mine. I pull him closer to me, and I press another kiss to his hair.

"Are you sure Tommo is okay?" Niall whispers as he looks up to me. His eyes captivates me, almost so that I don't hear what he's saying.

"Postive, Nialler." I almost drown in his eyes, I lick my lips as they feel so dry all of a sudden. I almost lean in and kiss his lips, but I refrain when I hear a slight cough behind me.

"Well, this is cosy!" Louis gives me a look like he wants to murder me in my sleep.

"Tommo!" Niall is off like a rocket.

"Not now, Niall." Louis sighs, showing his slight irritation.

"What's wrong?" Niall murmurs softly, and now I am the one sending daggers Louis' way.

"I'm on my period, apparently." Louis scoffs.

Niall chuckles. "Ya can tell me whatever it is, ya know? Right? No jokes, or whatever."

"I know, Niall.." Louis rolls his eyes. "Can I talk to you, Liam?"

"Sure." I get off the sofa, and squeezes Niall's arm. "I'll be right back for more cuddles, Nialler."

Niall laughs softly.

"NOW, LIAM!" Louis shouts, making even Harry and Zayn come up for air after their make out session.

I shrug to the three of them, as I go to Louis' room.

"I don't want to fight for your attention, Liam! I'm sick and tired of it! Why can't we just tell them that we're dating?! It's not like I want to show off to the entire fucking world that we're queer. Just our best mates!"

"No." I hiss. "I told you, I'm not ready to tell yet." I beg with my eyes, and give him a small pout. He crumbles. I can tell by the way his eyes glasses over slightly.

"Niall knows something is bothering me. This is bothering me, Liam! I don't want to lie to my mates, least of all Niall! Don't you get that?"

"I do get that, I do. It's just... It'll hurt him!"

"He'll be more hurt when he realises that we both lied to him for months! Or do you want to keep me your dark, dirty secret for years?"

He is challenging me. I can tell. "Don't be an idiot, Louis! Of course I won't!"

There's a knock on the door, and we both sort of just stare at each other. "Liam? Louis? You guys in here?"

"We're here, Nialler." I beam at him as he opens the door, and I give a glare to Louis to mess this up for me. For us.

I didn't really know it then, but that was the beginning of the end of my relationship with Louis.

 

xXxXxX

 

_Niall is cuddling to my side, peppering my face and neck with soft little kisses that tickles me beyond description. I capture his lips in a soft kiss, and a small gasp leaves his lips as I do so. I probe my tongue in his mouth, as I gently and ever so softly lick in his mouth. I stop and start pecking his lips. I never want to stop. It's such a rush to be kissing Niall, and even though I feel bad for Louis, I can't help feel the happiest I've ever felt in my entire life._

_"Your eyes..." Niall whispers._

_"What about my eyes, Nialler?"_

_"Yours eyes are captivating me, drawing me in, and just.. you remind me of a puppy, Payno." He looks so sincere._

_"You look like an angel, Niallenator. Your entire being is just so angelic, so pure. I don't want to ruin your innocence, yet it's all I can think about too.. You're my life, Niall."_

_"You're mine as well..." Niall whispers. A blush is coating his cheeks, and he's so adorable. So sweet. I beam with happiness at his adorableness._

_"Well, this is certainly cosey, innit?" Louis snickers._

_"Hey Tommo! Had a good day?" Niall smiles at him._

_"Not bad, Nialler. Not bad at all. And you?"_

_An evil smirk is plastered on Louis' face as we make eye contact. I clench my hands together in a fist, and I'm sure my veins in my forehead is about to burst._

_"Yeah, I had a great day!" Niall beams. "Liam is such a sweetheart." He looks with adoration at me, and in an instant my anger flows away._

_"Our Liam sure is." Louis agrees with still that stupid evil smirk on his face. "Now, I can use me lil' Nialler cuddles."_

_"You only want cuddles when something's bothering you, though?" Niall looks innocently at Louis, his big eyes are practically begging Louis to come clean to him. I hope and pray and beg internally that Louis doesn't break._

_"Not a thing is bothering me, Nialler. I just missed me lil' Nialler cuddles, yeah? Just you and me?"_

_"Okay!" Niall beams. He's always happy when someone wants to spend time with him. "I'll be back!" He presses a soft kiss to my lips, and I gently kiss him back. As he pulls away, I make a small whine in my throat. I already miss his lips._

_"Don't be so needy, Payno.." Niall giggles. "Our Tommo needs some Nialler lovin' too."_

_"I sure need me some Nialler lovin'," Louis agrees. His smile is purely evil now as his eyes locks with mine._

_I gulp and I feel faint as I see Louis and Niall go up to Louis' room. Will Louis spill the beans that I broke his heart the second that Niall told me he fancied me? Will Louis tell him that he was my first? Will Louis tell him that I wasn't pure anymore? If I was in Louis' position, I would definitely tell. I knew I would, because I wouldn't want me to be happy. But I prayed with my entire being that Louis wouldn't do that to me. To us. To my precious Nialler. Our little leprechaun._

 

xXxXxX

 

_**The break up of Lilo and the beginning of Niam** _

 

"You spend your entire day and half night with him!" Louis is half screeching/whispering, so that no one will overhear us.

"Niall needed cuddles. Some jerk is messing with him!"

"You're not the only one who can give him cuddles though! Harry offered, and you practically bit his head off!"

"Well.. He would've left him on his own as soon as Zayn came through those doors, and you know it!" I argued.

Louis looked just about done, and I have to say, it wouldn't have been Louis if he wouldn't be done just about now. I just can't say 'no' to Niall. It's impossible. He's like ... the sun I needed to just get through my day.

"You really don't get it, do you? I don't want a 'fuck and toss' relationship, Liam! As soon as Niall is through our doors, you are waiting on him hand and foot. When he's out the door, you're back to me, practically begging me for a fuck. Where did the sweet Liam go? Because, lately, all I can see is the sweet Liam is only there for Niall. And not me."

"Lou.."

"Just... I'm sorry for being such a bastard. I know Niall's your friend too. Just, can you try and spend some time with me too?"

"Yeah. Sure." I nod, kiss his lips softly, before we both crash onto his bed, sleep and exhaustation overtaking us both.

 

Two days later, was the best day ever, in my case. Niall stumbled throught the door, his gigantic smile made my heart slightly beat faster than just seconds before.

"Hey Payno!"

"Hey Niallenator!" I beam right back at him.

"Umm.. are you ... I mean, is anybody else home?" His head was slightly tilted, his eyes were starting to draw me in again. Oh God.

"Yeah.. I think so?"

He let out a soft chuckle, and my stomach goes all warm.

"Can we go to your room? Or to mine?" He held out his hand, and I gladly put my hand in his.

"We can go to mine," I whisper, as I gently tug on his arm, letting him follow me to my room. Luckily, Louis and I have never fooled around in my room, so there's no evidence of what we had done practically just the day before.

"Liam...?" God, my name sounds so good coming from his lips. His voice does unthinkable stuff to me.

"Yeah?" My voice is barely a whisper by this stage.

"I-I've kind of liked you for a long time now.. and I wonder.. do you by any chance feel anything for me as well?" YEEEESSS!!! WHOOOOOOP!!! Now, just stop freaking out, and want to break out in a dance, and grab Niall and kiss him senseless, because he's starting to look rather put off at this stage. "Of course you don't..." He mumbles, tears are welling up in his eyes. "No one likes me like that..."

"I-I do! I love so much, Niall. Like, I want to kiss you, and hold you tight, and just never let you go. It'd be an honour just for me to call you my boyfriend."

"Really?" He doesn't look like he believes me.

"Really. Truly." I nodded. "I've liked you for.. I mean, I've fancied you ever since I first laid my eyes on you.." I mumbled. It was oh so true.

"Oh.. Umm.. likewise?" He let out a soft giggle. My heart burst out in happiness by the sheer look of happiness on his face. I took a mental photo of his face, because I've never seen Niall this happy before. And it was all because of me. I've made him this happy.

I beam at him. "So.. can I kiss you? On the lips to seal the deal of us being boy-boyfriends?" I stumble over the word 'boyfriend', but I don't think he minds.

"Yeah..." He looks so innocent, and so desirable. "But.. I've never.. I mean, I've never actually kissed anyone, so umm.. if it's bad.." He stops right there, he flushes red like he's embarrassed.

"It could never be 'bad' when it's got to do with you. You're my Nialler." I smile at him, and he steps closer. My breathing slightly stops for a second or two, as his lips brushes softly with mine. My heart is beating erractically and elephants are being set loose in my stomach.

"How was it?" Niall looks so hopefull.

"Best kiss I've ever had," I whisper, as I gently kiss his lips again.

We hear the front door slam shut, and the hollers of Zayn, Harry and Louis. It then occured to me that I've betrayed Louis, and cheated on him. I had to tell him that we're over, before Niall expresses his happiness that he's got a boyfriend. Oh God! Louis could ruin my relationship with Niall before it even ...

"WE'RE IN LIAM'S ROOM!" Niall shouted. He looks at me, a little alarmed when he sees my face. "You okay, Liam?"

"Yeah..." I know I must look like a right sight. "I'm fine."

"We don't have to tell them anything..?" He looks so worried, like I'd be embarrassed of him or something.

"Maybe not today. We can tell them tomorrow..." I mumble as I pull him in for a hug. A real boyfriend hug. I've never been as happy or devestated as I am right now.

"Tomorrow.." He mumbles, his fingers play with my shirt on my back.

"Hey." Louis looks so ... done right now. "Can I ... borrow Liam for a second?" Louis asks Niall.

"Umm.. yeah?" Niall looks slightly frightened, but I pull him for a hug once more, and whisper in his ear.

"I'll be right back.. boyfriend." I can feel Niall shiver at the word, but he nods as he clings onto me for a second or two longer than he usually would've done yesterday.

I felt so guilty as I walked into Louis' room, and when his lips crashed onto mine. I almost recoiled from his lips, but I didn't. I kissed him, and as I felt his hips jerk onto my leg, I realised that I wasn't about to tell Louis that it was over between us. No, I did the unthinkable instead - and had sex with him. Twice.

I cleaned myself thoroughly as no evidence would be on my skin, or any smell of what I'd done with Louis. It suddenly, out of the blue, occured to me that I'd just cheated on Niall. I held back the tears that threatened to fall, to beg for his forgiveness. Of course I never could tell him about this.

 

I slightly forgot that Louis would be home the next day, and as I snuck into Niall's bedroom, and snuggled him tight - I fell asleep. I had to tell Louis later that we had to break it off. Niall simply wouldn't do being kept in the dark, and I couldn't do that to him. 'But you had reservation to do that Louis!' was what my mind was nagging me as I held on tighter to Niall.

I woke up to a glass shattering, and sniggers. It seemed like it was what woke up Niall as well.

"Well, aren't you two just the image of picture perfect?" Zayn chuckled.

"Fuck off, Zee... Lemme sleep..." Niall grumbled.

"But, you're so cute!" Harry cooed.

"Leave him alone.." I mumbled.

"Are you two ... together?"  Louis voice was harsh, and I could tell he was fighting back tears, holding back the scream I knew he wanted to release.

"Hmm... yeah.." Niall mumbled, sleepily.

"Ho-how long?" Louis looks like he's ready to murder me. Or possibly Niall.

"Since last night ..." Niall whispers, hiding his face in my shoulder.

"O-oh." Louis turned around, and ran into his room. I knew I had to talk to him, to explain.

"Well, I for one was rooting for ya!" Harry whooped. "You owe me a tenner, Zaynie!" He looked well pleased with himself.

"Who were you rooting for Zee?" Niall mumbled sleepily.

"I could've sworn there was going to happen something between Louis and Liam ..."

I felt my body almost shut down by Zayn's words, but I managed to hide it, I think.

"I should talk to Louis..." Niall mumbled. "He looked so upset..."

I nodded. "I'll come with you." I kissed his cheek, making him blush.

Louis was screaming into his pillow - and Niall almost stumbled over the heap of clothes that littered Louis' room. It was quite heartbreaking to watch, to know that I was the reason that he was so ... broken.

"Lou.." Niall almost started crying too, just by seeing Louis so distraught. "You won't be alone.. We'll still have our 'Nialler and Lou' time, and you can still borrow Liam as much as you want.. I'm sure Haz and Zee also will take good care of you..." Niall hugged Louis close to him, and gently patted his hair. Niall probably didn't know it, but he was probably breaking Louis' heart even more by mentioning me.

"I want - I want - I want ..." Louis kept on muttering.

"What do you want, Lou?" Niall patted Louis' back, gently guiding Louis' head to his shoulder. If it wasn't so damn sad, I would've cooed at the sight of the two of them.

"I'm sorry." I murmured.

Louis glared at me, and I swallowed harshly. He could ruin this now, and I knew it.

"Can you go get me a glass of ice cold water, Ni?" Louis' voice was strangely steady.

"'Course, Lou." Niall gave Louis a kiss on his cheek, and a sad smile. He kissed my lips softly too, and I ... I had to kiss him back. I know this would probably piss Louis off more than anything, but I could never deny Niall what he wanted. Especially now that he was mine. "Your water will be right here," Niall sounded out of breath after our kiss, and he gave Louis one more sad smile before he left, closing the door gently behind him.

"Louis..." I started, but Louis held his hand up to shut me up.

"Wait..!" He spat. He opened the door, and no one was out there. "I can see it oh so clearly now... You finally got what you wanted, your precious Niall! Instead of telling me you wanted him, you fucking fucked me twice - after you and him were already a thing! I should expose you for the bastard you are, Payne."

"Please. Don't. Louis." I hiss.

"Your eyes are dead, Liam. Dead and broken. They look like you're this gigantic puppy that you feel obliged to rescue - but once you do, you're doomed as well. But don't worry.. I won't defile Niall with this information, because he'll find out for himself what kind of bastard you are." Louis kept his glare, but he bit his lip and kept his eyes off me when Niall came up with the glass of water that he'd promised to get Louis.

"You sure you're alright, Louis?" Niall asked.

"I'm peachy." Louis lied. "I just, I need to be by myself..."

"I don't want to leave you alone though.. you're sad.."

"No, I just.."

"We should let him be by himself, Nialler." I say, and Niall look at me, and then to Louis.

"Are you sure there's not something to what Zayn said?"

I froze.

"What did Zayn say?" Louis asks.

"Harry bet Zayn a tenner that Liam would end up with me, whereas Zayn betted a tenner that something happened between you two."

"You and me?" Louis says, gesturing between himself and Niall.

"No.. you and Liam."

"That's mental. I'd never in a million years fall for someone like ... Liam." Louis stares at me, like my name tastes like dirt in his mouth. I' m sure it does, but I can remember him saying my name like a prayer last night.

"I'd never fall for Louis either..." I mumble. Niall looks kind of relieved, and Louis looks like he'd straight up punch me in the face.

"Okay.. well, we're here for you, Tommo. I'm always going to have your back, yeah?"

"Yeah." Louis chuckled humourlessly. "Right back at ya."

"I'll be right there, Niall." I say. "I just, I have to tell Louis something..."

Niall nodded, and shut the door behind him.

"For the record, I loved you, Louis. I did care for you, and I did fall in love with you. It wasn't just messing around for me either. I probably shouldn't have had sex with you last night... and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you myself. That you had to find out like that. Please, don't tell Niall. I know I don't deserve it, but .. if you care about him, let him- let him be happy. With me." I choked on my words, but I guess I got my message across.

"I hate you, Liam..." Louis whispered. "Leave me the hell alone. Never talk to me again."

"Yeah."  I whispered as I went to the door. I closed it behind me. I intend to keep my promise to Louis this time. For the sake of my Nialler, and for our future. I just hope and pray that Louis will keep his promise too.


	2. Chapter 2

I feel my skin crawl with anxiety as I close the door to Louis' bedroom. It's all making me want to vomit, or faint, or possibly both.

"You alright there, Li?" Zayn almost scare me to death. "What's up with Tommo?"

"'m fine. Dunno, he wouldn't say." I panic as Zayn nearly knocked on Louis' door. "He said he wanted to be left alone though."

"He never wants to be alone, though." Zayn says, and I shrug. It's true, Louis, much like Niall, never wants to be alone. Especially when sad.

"That's what he said, and I think we should respect his wishes." I say, as I try to steer Zayn away from Louis' door. I also might crave Niall's kisses.

"Uh-oh, better watch out Zee-Zee. Super-protector Li-Li is here!" Harry cheers, as he pecks Zayn's lips - but like usual with those two, it soon turned into quite the heated make-up session.

"I'll go and see what Niall is up to," I mumble, but it seems like I'm talking to myself. The two idiots aren't even coming up for air.

"Everything okay?" Niall asks as soon as I open the door to his bedroom.

"Yeah." I nodded. "Everything is fine." I smile at him. "Babe." I add, just to see the reaction I'm waiting for. He looks rather shocked at first, but then his entire face is beaming, with a bright red blush that is coating his entire face.

"... boyfriend." He mumbles, as he throws his arms around my middle, and hugging me tight. I am litterally flying right now, flying without wings, basically. Niall is my anchor, and he gives me wings. I'm so in love with Niall, everything is basically Niall.

"Boyfriend." I confirm, as I put my arms around him too, hugging him to me.

"Is it too soon?" Niall mumbles into my chest. I let go a little bit, but I'm still having my arms around his middle. I never want to let him go.

"Is what too soon?" I gaze into his eyes, and "etheral beauty" is what comes to my mind.

He doesn't say anything, just stares back into my eyes. "I love your eyes. I love your smile. I love the fact that you're my best friend. I love you, Liam Payne."

BOOM YAH! HELLS YEAH! DID HE JUST SAY THAT?! "I love you, Niall James Horan. And no, it's never too soon." I gently peck his lips, I don't really want to scare him off with shoving my tongue down his throat, even though I'm aching for some tongue-on-tongue action. But then again, his lips alone quench my thirst. Everything about Niall can quench my thirst, I realise, as his hands roam my chest, and then his fingers are in my hair, and then his hands are on my arse, pinching it, before I feel his tongue gently asking for access. I comply of course, letting him steer the pace we're going at.

"Love you.." He pants against my lips, letting his forehead lean against mine.

"I love you." I too, am panting a little bit. My heart feels like I've ran a marathon, just out of sheer glee.

"How did it go with Louis? Did he tell you why he's upset?"

And just like that, I've been showered with the coldest shower ever. "No, he didn't babe. He just said he needed some space, 's all."

"So.. you don't have to go to his aid, or anything any time soon?"

"No.." My whole body is on fire again, after the metaphorically cold shower. After basically five seconds. I got to say, Niall is giving me the best heart attacks ever - and I'm loving every damn second of it. No one has ever got me going from cold to hot so fast.

 

xXxXxXxX

 

Everything between me and Niall went from one high after another, and just when I thought we'd reached heaven for sure, he got me even higher and closer to heaven. Nirvana? Was that what this was called? I tried, I definitely tried to not give Louis any reason to rat me out to Niall, by not shoving my affection and love for Niall in his presence. It was so close though. Because no matter how or where I had my make up sessions with Niall, Louis would usually turn up.

"I NEED MY NIALL CUDDLES!!" Louis screeches at the top of his lungs as we hear him come home. "NIALL!! CUDDLES!! NOW!"

Niall let his tongue tell me he was sorry. "Sounds like he's in distress."

"I'm going to be in distress if you leave me," I pant softly.

"NNNNIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!!"

"Be right back," Niall mumbles. He pecks my lips, and tries to sort out his hair, and gently pat his clothes so it's not as creasy looking. "JUST GIMME A SECOND, LOUIS!" Niall yells. "I'll be right back." Niall promises, as he goes out the door.

I sigh as I see Niall go through the door. Louis has been wanting his 'Niall cuddles' more than usual lately, and I had a terrible feeling he either wanted to go after Niall himself, or to make Niall trust him enough - and then tell him the truth about me. About how terrible I am, and that I've basically just used Louis.

I panic as I hear Niall scream his lungs out. What the hell did Louis do to my precious Nialler?!

 

xXxXxXxX

 

**(Briefly) **~Niall's POV~****

 

"What took you so long?" Louis pouts in my direction.

I shrug. "Just, um..."

"Please tell me you haven't ..." Louis is giving me freaked out looks.

"No.." I giggle. Be a man Niall, and stop giggling! "No, umm, I haven't.." I shrug again.

"Oh. Phew." Louis giggles this time, and it's making me giggle with him.

"I've got something for you." Louis says. "And then, we're going to cuddle. Because I basically had a shit day." He nods, almost to himself.

He hands me an envelope, and I eye the envoplope with great skepticism*(?). "Is this envelope going to scare to me like you did when you pranked me last time with an envelope?" 

"Nah! Open it! Open it!" He jumps with joy as I hesistantly reach for it, and then tear through it really quickly, because I don't want to be scared. I eye the content - before I let out a scream I'm not even proud of. I think I might sound like a bloody banshee.

 

xXxXxXxX

 

****~Liam's POV~****

 

"NIALL!!" I shout as I stumble through the door, probably looking like a looney person. "NIALL!!" I see Louis roll his eyes as he sees me, but I don't really pay attention to Louis right now. I've reached Niall now, and I gently touch his arm. "Babe, you okay? I heard you screaming.." I try to make sense of his face, but he's giving me none. He turns around, and my heart stops.

I see his mouth moving, but I can't hear him. I still can't depicter his face, nor emotion. It frightens me, because I could always read Niall like a book. It's why I love him so much. But what gives me the chills of doom running through my veins is Louis. Louis looks just like his evil self, and his face looks almost ... triumphant.

"Niall,  I... I can explain." I mutter out, before I gracefully facepalm the floor.

 

"Breathe.. just breathe. There you go, Liam." Harry pats me on the shoulder.

"Niall?" I whimper his name.

"Don't worry." Harry says, but his eyes tells me I have everything to worry about.

"H-how can I not worry?" I choke out.

"He's with Louis." Harry says.

"C-can I see him, please?" I am trying to keep my tears back, but I can't. Unfortunately, I can't find the strength to wipe them away either.

"Yeah." Harry nodds. He's gently wiping my tears away for me. "No more tears, Li." He whispers.

I nod my head gently.

Zayn comes in, but he's not with Niall. He's with Louis, and Louis is giving me the death stare I've become used to. I don't think Zayn and Harry notice. 

"Seriously, what's the deal with you two?!" Zayn whisper shouts. "I've had it with .. with you both! Tell me what the hell is going on!"

"Nothing, geez!" Louis rolls his eyes at Zayn.

"Why did Niall scream so much? He made us have an heart attack! Why did Liam pass out? What did Li mean by 'he can explain'. Why are you looking like you're the reason behind it, Lou?" Harry says.

"Because I am behind Niall screaming, duh!" Louis rolls his eyes at Harry. "As for _Liam_ , you'll have to ask him." Louis spat my name with such venemous hatred.

I hold my breath as I see my angel come into the room. He's looking ... weird, and I'm not sure I am comfortable with everyone in the room with us.

"Why're you being so mean to Liam?" Niall asks, and I almost weep with gratitude that he doesn't seem to know. I hold my breath as Louis turns around to Niall, knowing he could ruin everything by telling everyone the truth.

"I'm not being _mean_. Am I being _mean_ , **Liam**?" Louis asks, emphasazing my name, like it makes him great joy to make me suffer so much.

I shake my head. "No."

"See?" Louis laughs, patting Niall's shoulder, holding his arms out to him, like he wants a cuddle. Niall complies of course, he never says 'no' to a cuddle.

"Seriously though, Niall. Don't you want to know what happened between those two?!" Zayn and Harry exclaims out, both looking ready to pounce on both Louis and me, and I have a suspicion they would pounce on Niall too if he even had the nerve to say 'no' to their enquiery.

"Of course I do!" Niall hiss, looking angry now. "But I don't think questioning Liam when he just fainted out of the blue - with accusations is the right way to handle it."

"Wh-what do you mean?" I ask Niall, holding my hand out to him. It kills me that it takes him longer than normal to let me touch his hand.

Zayn gives me a deadly look, and I shiver. Then I see him give the deadly glare to Louis too.

"What?" Louis tries to act like Zayn's stare doesn't bother him.

"Harry?" Zayn says, and his deadly look is replaced by one of love and admiration of his boyfriend.

"Look." Harry says. "Louis used to want to spend his every second of every day with Liam. He used to be super annoyed when Niall wanted to spend time with Liam, and he never wanted to spare a second of cuddling with Niall. All of a sudden, as soon as Niall and Liam started dating, Louis started hating on Liam, and started to spend all of his time with Niall; and giving Liam death glares and spitting his name out like it tastes like shit in his mouth. Rumours are going around campus that .. well, basically, that you did the nasty!"

"Harry! I told you we're not doing this right now. Not when Liam ..." Niall chokes out, before Louis interrupts him with guffaws of laughter.

"As if I'd ever do anything nasty with him." He points at me. "Sorry Nialler, I know you're all about the Payne.."

"It's true though." Niall interrupts Louis. "And okay, we're doing this now.." Niall sighs.

"Excuse me?" I finally find my voice.

"What Harry says. It's true. You two used to be thick as thieves - and Louis always used to bite my head off whenever I cuddled with you. You always used to sneak off together, and you did do the nasty together. I know.." Niall says. He lets go of my hand, and I instantly felt icey cold.

"Wh-why did you tell??" I shout at Louis, but he shakes his head profoundly.

"Like I'd ever tell anyone how stupid I was!!" Louis shouts back at me.

"Why wouldn't you tell me the truth?" Niall asks, and I burst into tears.

"I'm sorry, Nialler.." Louis says, and it angers me that he says 'sorry' before me. "How.. how did you find out?"

"I've always known." Niall says, just like that.

I just blink at him. Don't know what to say. I look at every single one of them, before my eyes find Niall again. Harry and Zayn looks just as stunned as me. Louis looks like someone had punched air out of him.

"Did you, um.. did you know..?" Louis asks, but Niall just shook his head.

"Not now." He walks back out of the room, and everything just blacks out. I don't faint, but every bad thought comes swooshing back.

"... know what?" Harry asks. He looks done right about now.

"That Liam and I fucked the night he and Niall got together." Louis says, before he too, exit the door.

 

xXxXxxXxX

 

Everything changed that day. Everything became bleak, and cold, and dark. Even Louis looked like he regretted everything. Part of me wondered if he had planned everything, but then I realised that Louis wasn't that ... evil. He may have hated me with such a passion he claimed he loved me before, but he'd never hurt Niall. Not on purpose.

I knew I had to explain myself to Niall, but he was unreachable. He'd moved back into his own room. He purposedly avoided both Louis and me, and when he walked out of his room - he was always around Harry and Zayn, who wouldn't let me nor Louis anywhere near him.

"What made Niall scream?" I ask Louis, my voice hoarse, by too much crying and not enough talking.

"I gave him tickets to The Rams vs The Rovers." Louis' voice is hoarse too.

I almost choke on my own stupidity. "Oh.. That was really nice of you, Louis."

"Yeah..." Louis walks away from me.

"Wait." I plead with him. "Have you talked to him at all?"

"No, but not by lack of trying." He shrugs, but I can tell he's it's killing him.

"Me neither," I sigh, trying not to cry.

 

"And then he just ..." Niall's voice and laughter is filling up the air, and I choke on my tea I just made. "I got to go," I hear Niall murmur. "Love you too."

And my heart shatters in million pieces.

"Hi." He gives me a small wave.

"Niall. Hey. Hi." Tears pool in my eyes as I gaze upon his beauty.

"Have you seen Louis?" He asks me, and I nod.

"He's up in his room, I think."

He nods, before he turns away from me. Walks away from me, up to Louis' room. It breaks me even more.

I can hear sobs and laughter coming from upstairs, before once again, Niall comes towards me.

"Can we talk?" I simply give him a nod, knowing that if I tried to talk, I'd probably start crying again. "Can Louis be here?" I nod again. "Okay, I'll go and get him." He comes back with a weird looking Louis. I don't know if this is good or bad, and it scares me.

"So.." Niall looks at me, before he looks to Louis, and back at me again. "I think the three of us needs to have a chat, an open and honest talk, if you'd like."

"Yeah." I nod, whilst wanting to run far away from this. I knew this was going to hurt me more than them, and it was probably going to break one of them too..

"So, let start with the beginning.. How long were you together?"

"Six months." I say, not wanting to look at Niall, so I just stare at the floor instead.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to hurt you. Louis said we'd hurt you more if you'd find out - but I... I guess I wanted to keep my options open? Like, I ... I was scared I was going to lose you forever if you found out I was dating Louis.." I know I'm rambling, and probably not making a lot of sense.

"The fact is, even though he was dating me, he was in love with you. He used the pathetic excuse that he didn't want to leave you by yourself, but he craved your touch and your constant need to cuddle him."

"I didn't have a _constant_ need to cuddle him." Niall mumbles. "It just so happened that Liam's the best cuddler out of all of us."

Louis scoffs. "Oh please, you were just as far gone for Liam as he was for you. It's what made it hurt.... you were almost meant to happen, and I was just in the way. I'm kind of over it, by the way."

"I'm sorry.." I say, and I don't know whom I'm saying sorry to, exactly.

"Why did you  have sex when we already were together?"

"I...." I begin, but no explaination would ever justify that I had hurt Niall before even we had started our relationship. "I.. didn't.. I.."

"I can't explain what went through Liam's head. I didn't know you were together until I saw you in bed together that morning." Louis says, just like that. "But no matter what shit I put him through, I knew I could get some decent sex from him... and so I seduced him that night, because I knew he'd never refuse sex."

"Liam?" Niall says.

"I - I can't tell you how sorry I am.. I always caved when Louis wanted sex, because I wanted sex too.. but I didn't, not really, not that night we got together, but I was scared Louis would tell you, and that you didn't want me anymore, because I never thought in a million years you'd look at me like that. I know it's a shit excuse, but.. I didn't want Louis to ruin me for you, and so I.. I did what I always do. I royally fucked up. I should've told you the truth. I'm sorry."

Niall stood up. "So... It all comes down to sex then?" He sighs. "I'm not having sex until marriage - and I don't want to be anyone who'd cheat on me for sex with someone else, just because they crave it. I don't want to be cheated on, and I don't want to be pushed into having sex."

I nod. "I know."

"You're so thick!" Louis shouts, but Niall gently guides him to the door.

"Thank you for participating, Louis. But this is strictly between Liam and me now. If Harry or Zayn, or both of them comes home, don't let them come up here."

"Like I could stop them?" Louis asks, before Niall shoves him out the door.

"Am I being thick?" I ask as soon Niall closes the door on Louis.

"No. But I don't think I trust you as much as I did before I had my suspicion about you and Louis confirmed.. and trust is everyting in a relationship."

"How long did you suspect it?" I ask.

He gives a wet snort. "Not as long as you were together. I dunno. It kind of grew and grew. I guess I always suspected it? I mean, I think I heard Louis once, and you came out of his room more often than your own.."

I feel shamed, by putting Niall through this. "I really can't tell you how sorry I am.. but would you have been my boyfriend if you knew I had been in a relationship with Louis?"

"I don't know, Liam. I've been in love with you since I first met you, and no one could even compare to you.. and even though you've told me you felt it back then too, you still went out with Louis. You still had sex with Louis even though you claim to have loved me through it all.. and I'm sorry, but.. how can you go from Louis to me? Just like that."

"Niall.. I never loved Louis. I mean, I loved him like a brother, but.. not in a boyfriend kind of love. No one came close to you. No one comes close to you."

"You still had sex with him. And you must've told him you loved him? Did you lie to him? Does that mean you'd ever lie to me? That you're just going to have sex with me?"

"I'll happily go without sex if you don't leave me.."

"So, you did lie to him then." It wasn't a question, nor a statement. He just said it. I know I'd given him an answer he never thought could come out of my mouth.

"You're not the man I thought you were, Liam Payne." And with that, Niall told me loud and clear he wanted me out of his room, or possibly out of his life all together, even though he didn't utter a single word.

 

xXxXxXxX

 

I woke up to craving Niall's taste on my lips, or the way he would sigh whenever he almost couldn't breathe due to the intense make out sessions we had, but he still kept going by kissing me, or the way we would cuddle, and hold on tight to each other. It hurts to breathe without him, and knowing I'd never feel the feeling of flying, nor see the way his face would light up, or let him ground me whenever I felt like I'd float away from him.

How could I even try to win Niall back, because I craved him more and more. I thought I craved him when I was with Louis, but now that I've heard him whisper my name in the throes of passion (yeah, we've done some frottage together), and I knew deep in my heart and very core of me that I'd do anything and everything I possibly could to hear his voice that hoarse and in need of me again.

Everything became sort of like it had before even me and Louis started dating. Apart from the fact that Niall hardly cuddled with me anymore. He sort of could give me a brief hug, and I'd live off that hug until he hugged me again. Sad, but true. Louis and me became sort of friends again.

"When are you going to get your arse in gear, Payno?" Louis sighed, as he sat down beside me, being flanked by Harry and Zayn.

"Pardon?"

"He means, when are you going to put Niall out of his misery, and kiss him senseless again?" Harry rolled his eyes at me.

"He doesn't want that." I scoff. "I hardly get a hug from Niall anymore, how...?"

"You're so dense!" Zayn interrupts me. "How did you land both Louis and Niall - is beyond me. You're both back in that phase when you're questioning your feelings for one another. Trust me when I say this - Niall wants you to kiss him senseless."

I wanted to believe Zayn, of course I did, but Zayn and Louis were quite known for their pranking skills - and this felt like it could be one of those pranks.

 

xXxXxX

 

Niall and I were definitely dancing around each other. He kept his distance, whilst I tried to get closer to him. And then when I gave him his distance, he initiated that he wanted to be closer. It felt kind of nice, but also kind of ... familiar? Stupid to be doing this? I wanted to be with him, end of.

"Liam.. can we talk, please?" He said my name.

"Sure." I nod, but he's sort of holding his hand out to me.

"Upstairs?"

"Oh. Yeah. Okay." I take his hand, but I almost let go as soon as he's holding onto me, due to the electricity floating through my veins. It's too much, but I crave his touch none the less.

"It's been a while," he shrugs.

"It has," I agree with him.

"Look, I'm just going to get straight to the point here.." I brace myself for the bad news I fear is coming. "I know things have been weird between us lately.. I still don't get.. but I still want you, even though I don't want to want you."

What does that even mean?! "Umm.. okay?" I shrug.

"So.. what do you say?" He stares up at me, making it difficult to breathe, much to comprehend what he's actually saying right now. "Liam?"

"Yes?" I look back at him, drowning in his eyes.

"Is it time to let things go? Or do we try again? Because we didn't really try, did we? I mean, I know I'm at fault for that, because it doesn't.. actually, it still doesn't make any sense to me. I was so far gone for you, but then reality came knocking and knocked some sense into me, but not enough sense..

"Now you're rambling.." I chuckle softly. "I can try to explain, but I'm afraid I'm going to give you even more reason to hate me.."

"I never hated you, Liam. Not for one second."

"Oh.. Well, I guess I hated myself enough for both of us then." I shrugged. "But tell me what doesn't make any sense, and I'll try my best to answer your questions..."

"First off; why did you even say 'yes' to become my boyfriend when you were still dating Louis?"

I clear my throat. "As stupid and far gone it sounds; I kind of forgot I had a boyfriend. Whenever it was you and me, there wasn't a single person in the universe that mattered more to me than just the two of us. I was in way too deep when it came to you - but I never in a million years thought you'd even have feelings for me, so it sort of became.. I burried my feelings for you for so long, and Louis was sort of there.. So we became boyfriends. I did develop feelings for Louis too, but they weren't as strong as my feelings for you.. When you and I became boyfriends, I had every intentions of breaking up with Louis. I never wanted to be a cheater.. but he wanted sex that night, and I was weak.. because .. when it was Louis and me, and whenever we had sex, it was like ... it was just me and him. It didn't occur to me that I was cheating on you, until it was too late."

Niall nodded. He didn't say anything, just gave me a small peck on my cheek. "Thank you for answering the question I didn't ask too." He gave me a small smile. "Have you restrained from sex though?"

"Pardon?" I look at Niall confused.

"Last time we spoke in this room, you said you'd give up sex as long as I didn't leave you. I did leave you, but.. What I'm asking is, did you give up on sex?"

"Oh." I chuckled. "I did, yeah. It wasn't really that hard - because I just wanted you."

"Whoa there, Payno. Don't go and try to seduce me just yet. No sex until there's a ring on me finger."

I laugh. This is going great! "I wasn't exactly trying to seduce you, though.. But, can I give you a hug, at least?"

He puts his arms around me, and it feels like I'm coming home. I've always wanted Niall, and even though he left me when I was at my lowest, he came back to my arms. Where he belongs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after a year and a week, this finally came about.. sorry the second part isn't up to par with the first part, but this is the best of the drafts I've been writing (yeah, I've tried for writing for a year...) Haven't had the right headspace for writing, also sorry if the second part doesn't make any sense whatsoever..


End file.
